Thursday, December 29, 2011

A Christmas Story 2011

A Christmas Story 2011

Another Christmas at Seve’s parents place. It’s always so peaceful and free at his childhood home. I stay in pajamas most of the time and lounge, take naps, watch TV, read, surf the net. It’s a true vacation when you don’t have to worry about cooking, planning, preparing and all the mayhem that comes with having company. My mother in law is so gracious and special. She has EVERYTHING my little Drewlbug needs: a high chair, snacks, milk, favorite fruits, toys everywhere, and the crib all set up. She is the most amazing person on this planet.

My own childhood Christmas memories are..forgetful. Most years I didn’t know it was Christmas until my dad handed me an unwrapped new toy. No words, no hugs, no kiss, just one toy that I was thrilled to have. So happy not for the toy but for my father finally acknowledging my presence. I played with the new tea set for months at a time and imagined great stories for each piece and had wonderful imaginary friends that were always there to play with me. Most of my life has been in my head.

At my in-laws place, gifts are lavished and showered upon you. It’s amazing. It’s overwhelming. It brings up feelings of guilt. I get depressed at all that I missed out in my childhood. How broken and hopeless my family is. How glad I am not to be a part of the destruction. How sad I am that they’ll never know the joy.. the real joy and hope of Christmas. God with us.

This year I was just filled with gratitude that I didn’t have to spend Christmas alone. I was surrounded amid chaos and madness and laughter. Joy was all around me. I took a moment to look around and soak it all in.


We gave and received. We remembered the birth of our king. I think of Mary in that stable. It must have been cold and unappealing. She must have looked into the eyes of her sweet baby boy and forgotten where she was, who she was and everything else must have disappeared as the sweet angel face slept peaceful and beautiful. A silent night. Gifts came from the three kings. Small gifts, simple gifts.
Their greatest gifts.

Drewlbug was unhappy most nights in a new place out of his routine in a strange bed. Staying up with him and lack of sleep led to irritation of Seve snoring. I said some things that sent him out of the room. I don’t remember. I was too freaking tired. I planned, budgeted, and purchased all the Christmas gifts. I loaded the car up. I sacrificed. I gave didn’t I? I still come up short. I still remember the Gift the of the Magi. My greatest gift should have been a sacrifice of the heart…It should have been tolerance.

Friday, December 16, 2011


Linking up with Gypsy Mama for

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.


So there’s this show on TV that I love.
Oh my gosh! I love this show.
The main character has the ability to see the heart of darkness of humankind. The underbelly that we all try to hide.
It turns out our fairy tales weren’t made up, they were WARNINGS.
To say that I connect with this show on a surreal level is the understatement of the century. I’ve always been fascinated with fairy tales, greek myths and fables. Somewhere in my deep inner sanctum where I believed and I connected with these stories as if they were real in another place and another time. So.. the question: which creature would I be? Or would I be the Grimm, the protector of humanity? Would I be the reaper? Would I be the vain creature that could control others with my charm? Am I one of them? Am I all of them? Are the fairy tales warnings? Or are they … prophecy?

Monday, November 28, 2011

REVIEW: Always Infinity

We interrupt this program to bring you the following:

These are the BEST feminine products ever. The Always Infinity line is amazing.

I would have never picked these up had it not been for the coupons.

I’m pretty sure I’ve used every single thing since I was 11. This is by far the best protection ever. It’s super thin so you never notice it.
Your heavy days don’t stand a chance with these.
They are awesome.
I keep a couple of these in my luggage, in the car, in desk drawer, and in the diaper bag.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Review: Why Men Marry Bitches

The best parts of this book:

"So take off your rose-colored glasses and throw them out the window."

"Men tend to feel at ease with a woman who doesn't care so much because then he doesn't have to be fully responsible for someone else's happiness. "

"This brings up to the definition of a marrying bitch - aka a strong, spirited woman who can stand up for herself. The bitch is not rude or abrasive because she's smart enough to know that being considerate is more effective. But she won't compromise herself to be in a relationship. She won't work overtime to 'catch a husband.''

"There's a kind of bondage that comes with being in the mainstream."

"But if you've told him you won't 'waste your time in a dead-end relationship' or that you want to be married within one year, all you've done is tell him you're someone he needs to get away from. This is why being up front and 'open' doesn't work."

"The second you put your life on hold, you become less interesting."

".. Show him how he can be your hero."

"He'll go to the ends of the earth just to have a woman make him feel revered and adored."

"By being willing to tell him, 'I'm putting it all on the line and I'm willing to walk out on comfort and security to get what it is I truly want,' he'll often feel that he needs that woman. He can't exist without her. That's when she becomes 'the one.'"

Personal anecdote:
By the time my husband came along, I was so done with the games and men and dating. I was just done with it. In order for me to consider anyone they had to meet a very strict criteria. When Seve and I tell the story to friends he always jokes, "I don't know how I made the cut!" I was 25. It was my time to have fun enjoy life. We enjoyed life together. I put my foot down when I needed to and made no exceptions when it came to what I wanted. A  lot of the ideals and principles in the book came to me either by way of exasperation or accident. I just wished I had this book once I hit my teenage years. This should be a must read in the curriculum especially for high school girls. Sherry is hilarious throughout the book and she keeps you engaged with all the real life stories. There's even a section called, "Breaking Into The Boys' Club." Riveting! Get this book and a cup of tea, laugh away the afternoon and spread the joy by loaning it to a dear friend.

Friday, November 4, 2011


I was at the dentist on Thursday. They had to do a procedure which invoked the dreaded needle. The first shot hurt sooo bad that tears came out of my eyes. Oh my word. It hurst so bad. I laid there. I allowed the pain to seep in. I thought of something else. I thought of how funny we silly human are to endure this torture.. to actually PAY someone to do that to us.... Then as the tears went into my ears I remembered being a child and playing on the apartment stairs in the dark with friends. She told me that if you licked your tears you'd be smart. I was all about being smart. Being the best. For awhile I would will myself to cry so I could lick my tears so I could get smart. It worked. I was the top of my class... until sophmore year in high school. I stopped believing in the secrets. I stopped believing in myself. I just stopped.

" On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.
For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.
For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not."

Monday, October 31, 2011

Learning to Coupon

Yep. You’ve seen the show, you get annoyed when you’re in line behind them and I’m becoming one of them.

I’m learning to coupon. Not to the extreme measures… YET. But all the same, I’ve found it’s amazing how much you can save with a little bit of work.
I made a coupon binder. Yep. I did. I now wished I did a shoebox organizing technique, but.. I’m now committed to the binder. The box would have been perfect, all you do is stick the coupons in there. With the binder it seems you have to place them so you can see them and those sleeves don’t always cooperate. With a shoebox method, I could just stick them in by category in front and cull through the expired ones at the back when needed.

I only shop at one store.. the only stores I’m entertaining being on my route is CVS and Walgreens..

Only the 24 hour stores though. Love the 24 hour stores.

On my first couponing trip to Walgreens I learned the following:
  • Don’t just buy because you have a coupon. (wasting your $$)
  • Always try to stack with store coupons (keep an eagle eye on ads and start just popping into the store for any items on sale or clearance not posted.)
  • If they don’t double coupons, do separate transactions.
  • Buy smaller sizes, they will be cheaper and if you have multiple coupons, they can apply to all the smaller sizes you buy rather than the jumbo packs and you don’t have to do separate transactions.

My goal right now is to save about $50.00 or more on groceries that I NEED.
The only stockpile I want to create is an emergency stash in case we lose power or something.
Here is a list of emergency supplies to keep in mind.
·         Water. Be sure to have 3 gallons per person and per animal in your home.
·         Food. Good choices are chili, tuna, veggies, and soup, as well as peanut butter, crackers, granola bars, cereal bars, and comfort foods like chocolate or candy. Buy foods with similar expiration dates to make it easier to refresh your kit. Don’t forget food for your pet.
·         A "refresh" card that lists the contents of your kit and the dates that medication and perishables will expire
·         First-aid kit. Standard kits usually cost around $25. You may need to add a couple pairs of gloves, and gauze, tape, and antibiotic ointment. First-aid kits typically don't include over-the-counter medications, especially for children.
·         Respirator/surgical masks to reduce exposure to airborne particles
·         Diapers and wipes. Refresh your diaper size!
·         Clothing. Have one complete outfit for each person, including sturdy shoes, a hat, and gloves. Remember to change this out as your kids grow. Put that on your refresh card.
·         Children's acetaminophen and a card with your infant or young child's current dose (often the bottle doesn't include it for kids under age 2). After each well visit, update your card with your child's new dosing info.
·         Medication. Get a seven-day supply of any prescription you or your child is taking. If your child is on an important daily med, ask your doctor for a one-week-supply prescription to fill for your kit. Add the expiration date of meds to your refresh card.
·         Sunscreen (SPF 30 or higher)
·         Manual can opener.
·         Waterproof matches
·         Fire extinguisher
·         One large flashlight for each adult; one small flashlight for each child able to work it
·         Batteries. Have enough for flashlights and a radio. Include a full set of replacements.
·         Battery-powered or hand-crank radio
·         Utility knife
·         12-inch adjustable wrench for turning off your gas line
·         Whistles with lanyards so you can find each other in the dark
·         A corded phone, which will still work when power is down.
·         Cash
·         Chlorine bleach as a cleaner and sanitizer
·         Hand sanitizer
·         Tampons/pads
·         Garbage bags
·         Blankets. Have one for each person.
·         Duct tape and plastic sheeting to keep out airborne chemicals. The tape should be at least 10 mil thick; the sheeting, at least 4 mil.
·         Documents. Fill a waterproof bag with one copy of important documents including passports, bank-account and credit-card numbers, birth certificates, Social Security cards, and wills. You'll want to protect them or take them with you if evacuation is necessary. You might add family memorabilia, such as irreplaceable photos.
·         Fun stuff. Comfort your family or pass the time with a deck of cards, coloring books, stuffed animals, and puzzles or board games.

I send expired coupons to a military family overseas so I never feel bad about not taking advantage of some good coupons I may have needed. I know that the family I’m sending them to would love them and they have 6 months to use an expired coupon.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Chicken Noodle Soup

Chicken Noodle Soup
  • 6 cups Swanson® Chicken Broth (go ahead and add a little water if needed)
  • Ground black pepper, to taste
  • 2-3 medium carrots, sliced
  • 2-3 stalk celery, sliced
  • 1/2 package uncooked extra-wide egg noodles (8 oz maybe?)
  • 1.5 lbs cooked chicken cubed or shredded ( I boil my chicken and just cut it up)
  • SECRET INGREDIENT: 1 TB Huy Fong Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce
1.     Heat broth, black pepper, carrot and celery in large stockpot over medium-high heat to a boil.
2.    Add Bay Leaf and chili sauce. Stir. Taste. Add more chili sauce if desired. I like my broth pretty hot and spicy.
3.     Stir noodles and chicken in saucepan. Reduce heat to medium. Cook 10 minutes or until noodles are tender, stirring often. I usually let it cook about 30 minutes to get the vegetables nice and soft.

The peppers in the chili sauce will increase your thermal body temperature and burn calories. The increased temperature will also propel your body to burn out that icky virus. When I’m sick, I camp out in bed with sleep inducing medicine and put the blankets and comforters over my head so when I wake up, I’m drenched in sweat. Believe me.. you will feel better.
The “starve a cold, feed a fever” are not what you think. When you fast, your body doesn’t have to take its energy to digest. It can send its energy to heal your body. The fever is the healing mechanism it uses to get the virus out of your system.

Every house adds a little variation to this simple meal. I love ours. It’s has our signature stamp on it.

A little break..

Ah yes.. I know I have been on a hiatus from here for too long. I’ve been making memories with my family, serving those who materialize as Jesus to me and keeping up with everything in between.
My reading file keeps growing. The dishes keep piling. The to-do list is endless. These are the best of times. These are the worst of times.

Seve has been under the weather lately and I made him some chicken noodle soup.
Recipe to appear in the next post.. stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Down to the River..

Remembering my mother today.

I listen to this song and I remember being very small.. maybe 8?? It was a religious Hindu holiday. Everyone would meet at the river and pray... my mother would pour water over me. It’s one of the few good memories I have as a child. It’s one of the few times my mother cared and gave selflessly. It was a moment where she honored me before her god.

This song brings it back.

Friday, September 30, 2011

On Friends

Linking up with Gypsy Mama for

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

Not sure why blogger wants to highlight this now..

Okay, On Friends:
Here we go:

I don't allow a lot of people in. It's just my way. I grew up in an environment that wasn't safe to let anyone in. They were dangerous. The gracious and dear friends I do have I treasure... but, when I'm in a bind and need help, it's all on me. Some of the people I know, they just post something on facebook and everyone they know comes running. I wish I had that. I'm usually afraid to have birthday parties because I think no one would come.
I attended an assertive communication seminar this week and I came to the realization that I am here because I have behaved in a way that cues others to see me as weak, childlike, one that is not to be taken seriously at any given point in time. This wall I've built, I built it with my bare hands one brick at a time. Slowly I'm starting to come out, slowly I let others in. Slowly I allow my criticisms to dissapate and just be myself. Goofy kid and all..

Saturday, September 24, 2011


Linking up with Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday.

Growing. I am obsessed with it. Moving forward and tackling the next hurdle. Just can't stay still. Can't stay in one place. Can't watch movies just cause they're on. There must be a point, a moral and message that helps me propel forward. Each day each moment, my beat changes. I can't draw the same line in the same way twice. Each moment is a different rhythm. I used to try and retrace my steps in the snow when I was little. Tried so hard. But the moment passed. I made the same steps but either my feet were bigger or my shoes were different - I couldn't keep the same motion.
I enjoy learning. I cannot stand to be stagnant. Sometimes though, I'm bombarded with information overload and chaos and I shut down. I get tired and must rest.
This is one of those times.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Review: Adele, Someone Like You

Adele... her voice... is magic..
This song, stops me in my tracks. Just her voice and the piano..
I had to sit in the car this morning when this came on. Parked the car, closed my eyes, forgot that I was running late and just reveled in the beauty of this musical genius.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Movie Review: Atonement

I remember when this movie came out in the theaters a couple years ago. It looked intriguing. I was invited to a special screening but couldn't go for some reason. I was thrilled to see it on the rack at Big Lots yesterday and quickly snatched it up. Got us some movie candy and convinced Seve it would be a great movie night.

Okay, here's the cast:

Keira Knightley plays Cecilia Tallis - She's just amazing. There's nothing else like her.
If I ever find this dress, I will maim, kill and destroy for it.. just so you know..

James McAvoy plays Robbie Turner, the housekeeper's son.. who's in love with Cecilia.

The character of Briony is actually played by three people.
Briony is the Cecilia's younger sister, innocent, with a WILD imagination.

"Child" Briony is played by Saoirse Ronan.

Young Briony is played by Romola Garai..

The incomparable Vanessa Redgrave plays older Briony.

My review:
This movie was really awesome. I think they did a little tribute to Memento in the direction. Time was always being messed with. It seems like Time was a character. One minute you're in the present and the next minute you're in the past. It's pretty awesome brain candy. It's like Time is trying really hard to get you to notice him/her. Some people like to tune out when they watch movies. I get all in there.. I become the characters and pick my favorites and try to figure out their next move based on their past behaviour. This is why movies always stay with me. I become ingrained, emotionally attached and bonded to them.

Briony tells a terrible lie about Robbie which separates him from Cecilia and Cecilia from her family.

The story is intriguing... but the scenery.. oh my word.. it's just brilliant. Every detail is perfect.
..pure eye candy. Every sense engaged. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Great juxtaposition of a grandiose luxurious existence in the beginning and then war, famine, living in slums trying to survive.. Weaving in and out is always Cecilia and Robbie: their passion.

There comes a point where Briony says she's sorry, but - I'm not sure if it's the acting or if it's part of the story- I'm really not sure she's sorry. I think she wants to be sorry but deep down, I think she's pleased she marred and scarred everyone that stood in her path of what she wanted.
I've said way too much and I never meant to do that..

Just go watch it.. just for the scenery..

You won't be sorry. You'll get lost in this massive house, learn a little bit about WWII on the English side, and walk away either surprised and sad or enchanted and delighted at the beautiful storytelling.

This is one of those movies that makes me want to go find the book it was based off of and get lost in it..


Linking up with Gypsy Mama and continuing our theme of Choosing Joy inspired by Sara, aka GitzenGirl.

In the midst of daily madness with reminders, emails, cell phones, social metworking, it's hard to be joyful. My brain is constantly bombarded with traffic and mess and chaos. My focus is hazy and I crash into everything. The wall caves in and I'm looking for the thing I've lost. The wall has been caving in for awhile. I've finally realized that wall was one I built a long time ago with great care, piece by piece. I have been stonewalled in here a long time and then one day I realized I was alone. Desperately I tried to claw through, then climb through, then break through.. still nothing. Still no one. Today as I'm writing this, I realized the wall was broken in pieces. I don't know how, and I don't know when, I'm just glad to be free. Now my goal is to pick up all these broken pieces of my soul and make them into something useful and beautiful. What a mess I've gotten into. What a joy it is to be free and to be truly known... discovered.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Saying Goodbye

GitzenGirl is approaching her last days here on Earth.

Oh how hard we all prayed for her. That God would be seen in her suffering and that He would miraculously heal her. I had so much faith that she had so many more years. Her faith especially was astounding in the midst of horrible pain. I couldn't understand how she would stay so positive and see everything as a blessing. She hardly was able to get out of bed.

Slowly, I started to understand. I started to change. My world of one became a world of many. My selfish thoughts and heart, little by little, everyday started to awaken and evolve. I am forever grateful to sweet Sara for always encouraging me to Choose Joy. It's her motto really. Two small simple words, one amazing impact.

In the midst of my sorrow... I CHOOSE JOY.. Joy that she will no longer be in pain. Joy that one day when I get to heaven, we'll see each other and we'll have a roaring good time and I will hear her mighty hearty laugh. I will hear her beautiful voice and we'll laugh till nothing comes out from our throats and laugh at each other in how silly we look. We'll drink coffee by the fireside with our silly blankets. We'll sip lemonade on the front porch swing with the wrap-around porch. I'll meet her father and thank him for the wonderful child he brought into the world.. into my life..
Until then.. Until we meet again, I will Choose Joy in your honor. Godspeed my friend....

Monday, September 12, 2011

Harvest Moon

Seve has been taking Drewbie to school lately and it's been a nice break for me in the morning. Today however, I needed to take Drewbie to school since Seve had a meeting offsite. I was bit annoyed that I had to wake up earlier and be get myself ready in a small amount of time.

When I made the left turn to the road that takes Drewbie to school I was greeted by an amazing harvest moon. It was sure a sight to see. One that I'll not forget. It was so peaceful and surreal seeing the moon during daylight. It was moments like this that God presents himself to me and says, "I am with you.."

So blessed we are to have this glorious and amazing life.

Friday, September 9, 2011

In Real Life

Time for 5 Minute Friday with Gypsy Mama!!!

Today's prompt: In Real Life

There's a life I live in my head. It's in my world: a world of just me and happiness. I'm the most beautiful dancer, I sing great, there is no lack and I'm a hero everyday. I always find the answer. I always make everyone laugh. I've spent most of my childhood and teenage years here. I've re-enacted plays. I've rocked all kinds of stadiums. I've re-programmed software to save the day.

In real life though, I'm goofy and awkward and feel retarded most of the time. In real life I can't hardly formulate a good sentence to let people know how I feel. In real life I'm just average, mediocre. Words that I detest most of all.

Oh to live in my dreams and never wake up. I've lived lifetimes in my head. So much so... that I don't think I know how to live here.. now... in real life.....

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Window Decor.. with WRAPPING PAPER

I didn't take a picture of the door before.. but it's a door with a glass inset.
I took my favorite wrapping paper:

cut it out to the size of the window and taped it on.


I am thinking I can change it up every season. I just need to keep an eye out for really awesome wrapping paper.. clearance sales: here I come!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My cup is empty...........

The practice of faith..
This is a hard subject today.
I love me some Beth Moore.
I always return to her when I need a moment to laugh or cry or just be reminded of God's glorious and wonderful love for me... for us..

It's a rough night. I'm tired of being the one to serve. The one to remind, to plan, to coordinate. I'm mentally tired and brain dead.

My cup is empty today in a bad way.

I sit here and watch youtube videos to laugh and release.
I listen to music that inspires me.
Slowly, I come back to myself and realize... ahhh... what a small burden I bear compared to Him..

Monday, September 5, 2011

Movie Review: Legion

Seve suggested we watch Legion last night. I was apprehensive. I remember when the previews came out and although they looked exciting and thrilling, I just didn't want to invoke the evil in my mind. I've become careful of what I watch and what I allow into my mind. No horror flicks, no paranormal madness, nothing having to do with the occult.

Seve was soo excited, I decided to sacrifice my internal warring and pray for protection.

So it started off with the following actors:

Paul Bettany: He plays Michael the Angel in Heaven who defies an order given by God and slices his wings off. (Remember him in A Knight's Tale?) LOVE HIM!!

Crazy smoking pregnant girl
I don't even remember this character's name she aggravated me so much...

Lucas Black: He plays a character called Jeep. Hopelessly in love with the crazy smoking pregnant girl who's carrying a child that is not his own. He plays a very simple man but character develops well throughout the movie... The core of the script is about him and his fight to do the right thing.

And Dennis Quaid: Can't remember his character's name..
Oh and let's not forget the amazing Charles Dutton..

The first time God lost faith in mankind, he brought the flood. This time he's bringing a a wild crazy legion of possessed demonic people to eradicate the whole species. The only that can save mankind is the child of the crazy smoking pregnant girl. The angel Michael defies orders and goes rogue to help mankind.


I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't at all evil.. It makes you think about Heaven and what the angels really think of our pitiful race. Some probably love us and some just can't stand us and don't understand why God created us...

Michael explains to Jeep why he has so much faith and it's an amazing scene that must be rewound over and over and over again.

So the action and the fighting is pretty visually awesome. Well done. Bravo.

The script itself is quite good; Some of those scenes I've lived in my own life and re-lived it again thanks to this movie.

Definitely a movie that needs to be in my own library. Reminscent of Stigmata.

The story has some parallels with the story of Joseph and Mary. He loved her even though she carried a child that was not his own and that child ended up being saviour of the world.

I think maybe, just maybe the world constantly is going through a redemption by birth almost every hour. Each person that gives birth to a child is a new hope and new beginning and new hope in mankind. Just when the war is about to rage, another child is born to redeem us and set us free. I've always been pro-choice; I am re-thinking this stance. Perhaps the enemy gets a better stronghold with each unborn child. I know it's just a movie. I know it's just a story... but... the gift of story and metaphor comes from who else but the Lord? He gives us all kinds of messages. It's up to us to tear through the layers and learn. The Bible is not the only source to understand life.

The crimes against children in this century alone has been heinous and vile. How dare I change the channel and turn away. How dare I go about my life and remain apathetic. What kind of person am I? Am I the one the angels will fight for? Or am I one of many amongst humankind to make them turn away and wonder why God loves us so much?

Friday, September 2, 2011


Linking up with The Gypsy Mama for:

"We write for five minutes flat on Fridays.
We write bold and beautiful and free. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just  right or not."

and... GO!

Every morning I thank God for peaceful rest. There are nights when my rest doesn't come... it just doesn't.. I toss and turn and am so tired but can't sleep so I weep silently there in bed.

When I fast, my sleep is glorious and exalting. I know the Lord is pleased and has blessed me.

Lately, it seems, once I put Baby Drewbie to bed, there's ALWAYS something to do. Some website to look up, something to fix, dishes to wash, magazines to read .. and my sleep hasn't been great. I wake up tired and in a flash I'm back to the sickness of depression.

Lord, help me find rest and strength in your word in your presence.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Meal Planning in One Page

Take this meal planner:

Laminate it.

Use a fine tip dry erase pen to fill in your meals, prayers, notes and you're all set.
Or you could frame it like this and use the glass to write everything on..

You can customize this document by using this template

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

How I Pray

When it's too much, when I'm scared outta my mind.. I pray. Not the pretty eloquent prayers of, "Dear Jesus, I believe you will come through for me in this moment..." oh no... it's the "Please-Lord-Please-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-Help-Me-"..

Sometimes I just can't find my breath. Sometimes the day is taunting me and laughing at me behind my back. That's when I just have nothing left and I turn to Jesus and I just pray my desperate pleading repetitive prayer.

It's not pretty, or sweet.. but it's effective. Within minutes, I am calm and ready to face the challenge. If God be for me, who can be against me?

Monday, August 29, 2011

Birthday Letter #33

This is actually the first birthday letter to myself  (#33 reflects my age.)
I love Cheryl Richardson.  Each week, she sends out a newsletter with a take action challenge and all of them are thought provoking, funny, witty and an overall good 5 minutes to spend with her.
I once wrote her an email telling her how much she inspired me and wouldn't you know she replied to me with a hand written card and sweet little gift! I was soo astounded for two reasons: 1. She would actually handwrite a card herself, 2. That she's actually real! Touching. sweet. Love her! Wanna be her...

Anyways, she challenged me to write a birthday letter along with writing down "intentions" for the next year. She suggests 10!! I can hardly keep one New Year's resolution much less 10 intentions for the next twelve months...
I'll modify it to 5 and see how that goes.

This year I'd like to:
1. Read "A Life Well Spent"
2. Learn to draw portraits
3. Maintain a healthy weight and not obsess over it; accept my body and be thankful I have enough to eat. Enjoy food.
4. Have an active routine that gets my heart pumping and my muscles defined. Use favorite music to build yoga and pilates routines that I can memorize so I don't have to use recordings.
5. Be more giving of my heart / time. Stop being paralyzed by the fear of hurt. Start with my marriage.

6. Finish learning a Canon in D on the piano. (try an easier arrangement for goodness sake!)
(#6 came to me while writing the birthday letter)
7. Create meal plans that provide a feast of healthy meals.
(I thought about #7 when I went to fix my lunch)
8. Adopt a more minimalist lifestyle.. first order of business: CLOTHES
(#8 came to me while driving)
9. Finish painting the furniture to complete the master bedroom. (I was going to do this anyways...)
(This post has taken a total of 14 hours... and I know I thought of something else for #10, but it's escaped my mind right now... I'll remember it soon... )
#10. Learn to write with my left hand.
(This wasn't what I thought of, but I had to get to ten!)
#11. Build a style file that is easily accessible.
(I'm glutton for punishment!)

Birthday Letter:

Dear You:
This was the year wasn't it? God came through in a BIG way for you and answered your prayers from the 40-day fast you did 2 years ago. He came through at the right time. He's so perfect. Let this year be the year that you leave the past behind. Hit the reset button and forgive all past transgressions. You need to for your sake and the sake of your marriage.
Drewbie has taught you so much about the joy in the small things. Remember when he would get so excited about the paper towel roll? He would spend hours speaking into it and marching with it and enjoying the ride of his imagination. Isn't it great to experience childhood again, through your child's eyes? Isn't it amazing the gift of children? Just how, when and where did he come from? One cell? One thought? One dream? And life came to be. Wow.
Drewbie and Seve deserve the best you. The one that doesn't harbor grudges and resentment. The one that is joyous and encouraging at all times.
Sara wrote a great post which you really need to step into, experience and incorporate into your daily practice.

"Imagine if we cared more about them feeling happy than us feeling right.
Imagine if we cared more about them feeling known than us feeling superior.
Imagine if we cared more about them feeling accepted than us feeling righteous.
Imagine if we cared more about them feeling joy than us feeling envy.
Imagine if we cared more about them feeling abundance than us feeling security.

Maybe sometimes it's not so much about being who we are at all costs. Maybe sometimes it's about letting go of who we are to see who we might become. "

The rewards are astounding.
Quit thinking about what your next goal is and what you want to catch up on. Be in the moment. Here. Now.
See you next year..


That letter was a little harsher than I intended... maybe it was necessary.

Friday, August 26, 2011


Linking up with Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday!!
Today's prompt: OLDER.

I've been avoiding this one for a couple hours now.

Here goes nothing..

It's my birthday in a couple days. Another year gone by so fast. Another wrinkle I notice, another gray hair. My body slows down. It doesn't react like it used to. I have to really work exceptionally hard to lose some weight. There's been a shift in the stars. The earth seems to be going a different direction. The world getting wilder and scarier. I almost deleted that last sentence but I just remembered this is a practice of stream of consciousness. Each year we get older, wiser even. Each year we realize how little we really do know. Each year seems to be going warp speed ahead. I sometimes drown and forget to stop and realize - this is it. This is the good life. This is the life I've always wanted. The one I've always dreamed of. Funny thing about getting what you want and being content. You realize that all the money and riches in the world will never really give you what you long for intrinsically: the sense of wholeness. The feeling of belonging. The more you buy the more you realize that things actually hold you by the throat. You realize that all your desires are really slowly you down. The real freedom lies in giving it all up. Hence what Jesus said to the rich man about getting into heaven. The only way is to give it all up because it's creates a valley between you and the Lord. The only bridge is Jesus. Give up all those puppet strings and be free to be who you really are..

I'm three minutes past my time, but I couldn't leave that paragraph abruptly like that.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

How to clean your makeup brushes

If you have been breaking out all of a sudden, it's probably cause your makeup brushes need cleaning.
Here's an easy way to disinfect and get all the gunk off your brushes.

Get some rubbing alcohol:

Fill a bowl or cup with the alcohol and place all brushes in it and let it soak for a good 10-20 minutes.

Then use a paper towel or washcloth and dab the brush in a criss cross motion until there's no more residue.. or if you have diapers that your child has grown out of, use that.
Other uses for diapers:
- Use them to clean up spills.
-If you're moving, you can wrap up your valuables in them
-Chair gliders

Anyways, criss cross until the brushes run clear.

Then repeat process just to make sure..

Let the brushes air dry and you're all set! Good as new.

Also, go ahead and change out your makeup sponge. It's too much work trying to clean those.. Just trust me on that...