Friday, September 30, 2011

On Friends

Linking up with Gypsy Mama for

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

Not sure why blogger wants to highlight this now..

Okay, On Friends:
Here we go:

I don't allow a lot of people in. It's just my way. I grew up in an environment that wasn't safe to let anyone in. They were dangerous. The gracious and dear friends I do have I treasure... but, when I'm in a bind and need help, it's all on me. Some of the people I know, they just post something on facebook and everyone they know comes running. I wish I had that. I'm usually afraid to have birthday parties because I think no one would come.
I attended an assertive communication seminar this week and I came to the realization that I am here because I have behaved in a way that cues others to see me as weak, childlike, one that is not to be taken seriously at any given point in time. This wall I've built, I built it with my bare hands one brick at a time. Slowly I'm starting to come out, slowly I let others in. Slowly I allow my criticisms to dissapate and just be myself. Goofy kid and all..

1 comment:

  1. Hi new friend. Thank you for being real and honest. It sounds like you are on a beautiful road of restoration and healing. If the wall can be built it can be taken down, even if it is one brick at a time... keep at it, it's worth it.