Thank You

Today's Five Minute Friday prompt:

Thank You

The only thing that comes to mind, is this song..
Might as well just copy it since it will be playing in my head for days now..

I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
'cause everyone listens when I start to sing
I'm so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me
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Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk
She says I began to sing long before I could talk
And I've often wondered, how did it all start?
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart
Like a melody can?
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair
I wanna sing it out to everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

So I say
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me

Songwriters: ANDERSSON, BENNY GORAN BROR / ULVAEUS, BJOERN K. / KORTNEV, ALEKSEJ ANATOLEVICH

 

Stay

It's Five Minute Friday!

This week's prompt: Stay

I want my little boy to know his Hindustani culture. Just give him a sense of where my roots are.. where his roots lie. Just a sense.

Diwali was coming up and I suggested some things we could do to celebrate. All practices had an allusion to celebrating the pagan gods and were vetoed quickly. How can I give him a sense of myself in his American house?

When the teachers at school asked him what he was thankful for, he said "Maji!" That's his nickname for me. I'll never know  where he picked up that word from. We sponsor an indian child named Majji but I don't think I've really ever said her formal name. Her informal name is Laxmi which is what we've always used. I was googling something one day and then I saw it: Maji means Mother in Hindi! WHAT? How is it possible that he knows that! So sweet. I don't really have to teach him where he comes from.. it's within him. It'll be there. Always.  Somehow that will stay with him regardless of how I influence him.

Quiet

It's Five Minute Friday..
Yes, I realize it's Sunday!



Today's prompt: Quiet

In our last episode of FMF, we talked about roots. I longed to reconnect with my childhood heritage at times. To my surprise, there ARE happy memories. There ARE moments of splendour and fulfillment. Why it takes 20+ years to see that, I will never know. I saw this post from my favorite DIY bloggers, John and Sherry. It reminded me of a Hindu holiday we called Holi. It brought me back to such happiness. I remembered our small poor village gathering to celebrate. We threw water, powdered colors, white powder, even mud on friends, family and strangers. We cleaned like crazy. We cooked like crazy. It was a feast. We shared with the neighbors. We smiled, shared our thanks, gave our best. Once I saw the info on the Color Run,  I knew I had to be a part of it. As luck would have it, they were having one in my hometown. I was blessed to participate today with my man. It was AMAZING. The mass amount of people from all walks of life. People brought their kids in strollers, guys were wearing tutus, everyone was having a blast. During the run, I had some great moments of reflection looking out at my city skyline.

There were some small still quiet moments to close your eyes while random people threw colored powder and filled the air, your eyes, ears and mouth. The colors were splendid. The energy was electric. I've come full circle.
I cannot wait to do this again next year!

Roots

It's another Five Minute Friday!





Today's prompt: Roots

---

As a child you would always find me in a small secret compartment behind our closet. When I found it, it was like Narnia opened up to me. It was just the perfect place for me and my dolls and our adventures. I spent lifetimes in that little room. I was running away. I was ashamed. I didn't like being different. I wanted so badly to be like my American friends. I had so many restrictions because I was a girl, because of my religion. I desperately wanted to sever these ties. I abandoned everything associated with my culture, my heritage and immersed myself in being something else. Something better. Every so often... I look around and wonder if I belong anywhere. I've moved here and there and floated from place to place never actually staking claim. Somedays, even though I detest and abhor my past, I wished I had learned more about where I came from.

"No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation.
Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
It started because I’d been thinking about writing and how often our perfectionism gets in the way of our words. And I figured, why not take 5 minutes and see what comes out: not a perfect post, not a profound post, just five minutes of focused writing."

So here's my best five minutes on:::

Voice…

Diana Krall - A Case of You

This is a very appropriate prompt today as this song has haunted me for the last couple days. Yes, it's on repeat. Yes, I DID listen to it all day. It happens like that for me sometimes. Something consumes me, calls to me, and I become... enchanted.. err.. OBSESSED!!!!

Songs, lyrics especially do this to me. I think I remember creating mix tapes of NOTHING BUT ONE SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

It's a sickness.. must be.

Diana's voice, interpretation is soooo compelling to me. The whole ensemble is remarkable actually. Songs like this remind me that human nature... even with all our pitiful traits and imperfections... we are so very close to the heaven we desperately crave. We are so close to the creator. We are... one.

Ophelia by John Everett Millais

 

"I remember that time you told me you said
'Love is touching souls'
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time "

My life so far

1978: HELLO!

1979-1982: No recollections. Stories captured: Father was in the armed forces in South America. We moved around a lot. He decided to flee the socialist government and when he was successful, he coordinated our travel to another country.



1982-1986: Small still memories of living in Suriname , now Dutch Guyana. I liked my dolls and imitating my mother. She was not very amused most of the time. She was never really happy. I don’t remember smiles or laughter.

1986: Traveled on a plane to come to America . I wore a pretty blue outfit with eyelet designs. Stayed with my aunt and uncle. Then moved into an apartment across the street. Discovered TV. Been hooked ever since.

1987: School. Lots of kids that are clean, pretty with nice matching clothes that don’t smell.

I realize

I don’t fit in.

I hate myself.

I hate my family for putting me in this position.

1988: My grandparents come to America and live in the same duplex. My aunts are so fun and so beautiful. Home life rough. Parents always fighting. I run away to my grandparent’s place. They let me know very quickly I do not belong. I am not welcomed. What is wrong with me?

1990: I am smart. Very smart. I get sucked into the world of books, reading and studying. So happy and joyful. I live so many lives in my books.

1991: Moved into a house.. A HOUSE!! WOW!! Not an apartment with just a hallway for my room. WOW!! I have a room.. with a door and a lock!!! WOW!

Start at a new school. Not sure what’s happening to my studies. I’m becoming average.. normal.. no longer excellent. I struggle to keep up. I am drowning.

I meet my best friend. I start high school

1992 - 1994: Still struggling with school. No one cares though. It’s no longer fun to accomplish high marks. Now it’s expected. That’s the thing about perfection. You have to continue and keep up with it. It’s really hard. Lost motivation. Music is my only escape. Most days are go to school. Come home. Watch TV. Eat dinner. In silence. Starved for attention. Need affection, comfort. Love. Boys seem to like me. They think I’m pretty. Obsession. Got the internet. Met him. He showed me true love. He helped me understand how unique and special I was. He pulled me out of depression. Parents found out about him. Forbid me to talk to him. Spiral back down. Mother is overhearing and cruel. I can’t listen to her tell me how much she hates me anymore.

Suicide attempt.

Mother kicked out of the house.

Can’t wait to go to college. Decide to choose the one farthest away.

Parents divorce for the last time.


The Scream by Edvard Munch

1994: Victimized by a family member. Went off to college. Freedom. Finally. I belong. Father is getting married. She’s pregnant. I have been rejected/replaced. I was the draft version of his life.

1995: Boyfriends, partying, probation. Father cuts me off from college funding. Forced to drop out. Have no skills to figure out how to do it on my own.

1996-1999: Move in with a friend in Alexandria, VA. Eventually find my own place. Couple different jobs. Lived with boyfriend. Landed the best job in the world at an airline company. The world is my oyster. JOY.

September 11, 2001 – The day was mass confusion, heartbreak, fear. The world is ending. I lose my job 2 weeks later. I move to Houston with friends. I decide to rebuild my life and start praying.

June 2002 – Met the man of my dreams.

September 2003 – We join a church.

May 2004 – Married the man of my dreams.

September 2006 – Land a job that I could really make a career.

February 2007 – Mother passes away tragically in a fire.

March 2008 – Purchased our home!

April 2009 - Completed a 40-day fast. The Lord revealed himself to me in so many glorious ways. I was changed forever. Reset.

February 2010 – Gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

2011 – Contemplate my career, my life and pray that I am doing what’s right for my son.

2012 – Received acceptance from my father. Learned to finally accept and love myself as I am. Once I loved myself, love came pouring in from everywhere. Peace surrounds. My soul… opened up.

The Annunciation by John William Waterhouse

 

Book Review: Fifty Shades Freed

Fifty Shades Freed by E L James

My most favorite parts of this book:
(no spoilers edition)

"Stepping back into the bedroom, I hurl the hairbrush at him, turn, and leave -- though not before I see his shocked expression and his lightning reaction as he raises his arm to protect his head..."

"And it's not just the allure of his fine, fine face and his body that has me spellbound. It's what's behind the perfection that draws me, that calls to me...his fragile, damaged soul."

"I'm grateful for his intervention, as I don't wish to discuss menus or butt plugs with Mrs. Jones right now."

"But I'm sure we'll be fine as long as you keep your hands off my husband."
    She gasps.
  "Otherwise, you're fired. Understand?"

"Surprise!"

"I'm intrigued. I'll come find you.
Be ready."

----

Personal Reflections:

Fifty Shades Freed reminded me of the beginning of Act 2 of Into the Woods.

We left off Fifty Shades Darker when Ana broke the spell that held Christian captive. They are happy. OH! They are so happy! It’s endearing, enchanting even… sweet.

It could end right there – but alas, no.

There are consequences, danger looms.

Ana’s plays the part of Little Red Riding Hood, she ventured into the woods, was consumed by the Big Bad Wolf and managed to change Christian’s fate. He is liberated by her insistence that he must deal with his demons.

Ana also plays the part of Cinderella in some scenes trying to cope with so much luxury.

Christian also plays the part of Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk in his first relationship with a woman. Ana still has trouble contending with his previous life. Oh goodness girl, get over it! He wouldn’t be your Fifty Shades without her!

Okay, so the honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Love isn’t enough. They play the blame game. Sacrifices must be made and then BOOM! – The giant has fallen. She reveals something to Christian that sets him off and all I can say is WOW!

Then the action starts to heat up and it feels like a James Patterson novel. Hairs are standing on end, fear has stopped my heart and..and… there are no happy endings. Are there? ARE THERE?

Cinderella says to the prince, "My father's house was a nightmare. Your house was a dream. Now I want something in between."

Does she get her wish?

Book Review: Fifty Shades Darker

Fifty Shades Darker by EL James

My favorite parts:
(there are soooo many more, but...they would be spoilers.)

"His magic is powerful, intoxicating. I'm a butterfly caught in his net, unable and unwilling to escape. I'm his...totally his."

"He stares at me blankly, and there it is, his problem in a nutshell - empathy or the lack thereof."

"And I don't know what possesses me, but I suddenly hear my own voice ringing out clearly over the throng.
   'Twenty-four thousand dollars!'"

"Christian stares at him impassively, but he's amused. All eyes are on Christian. What's he going to do? My heart is in my mouth. I feel sick.
    'One hundred thousand dollars,' he says, his voice ringing clear and loud through the tent."

" 'There is poetry of sailing as old as the world,' he murmurs in my ear.
     'That sounds like a quote.'
     I sense his grin. 'It is. Antoine de Saint-Exupery.'
     'Oh... I adore The Little Prince.'
     'Me, too.' "

" 'I was Mrs. Taylor yesterday.' I grin at Taylor, who flushes.
   'That has a nice ring to it, Miss Steele,' Taylor says matter-of-factly.
   'I thought so, too.' "

Personal Reflections:
Getting to know Christian, Mr. Fifty Shades, was exhilarating!
I actually made some parallels in my childhood and was able to piece together some extraordinary insights.
I do believe this book might have saved me thousands of dollars worth of therapy!
It's very rare I sacrifice my sleep for a book. This was an exception to every rule. It was a love affair, an exciting adventure. I was actually a bit disappointed when I was getting close to the end. I slowed the pace a little and prolonged the experience. I have never done that.
EL James gives good read.
Oh.. so good.

Grasp

" On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.
For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.
For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not."

Today’s prompt: Grasp

 

I was 16. He was 29, a family member. I was curious, he was evil. The serpent. Taking advantage of the situation. Tempted in an old abandoned dirty garage. Mind and body soaring someplace else. One kiss and I was addicted. One touch and no longer the same. Drunk on the forbidden. Lines crossed. I set into motion a series of events that have held me captive. It’s inescapable: this prison I hold myself in. I’m only now starting to see the blood on my hands. The venom- it’s in my touch, in my words, in my mind.



Miranda The Temptest by John William Waterhouse



It's been too long...

I know you haven’t heard from me in too long.

What I’ve been up to lately:

·         Trying to find time to memorize 2 songs and play them well before my piano lesson. If I don’t practice and put in the time, it’s the most miserable hour!

·         Reading Anna Karenina for book club

·         Reading 50 Shades Darker well past midnight

·         Doing Colossians Bible Study with Good Morning Girls.

All of this in the midst of diapers, dishes, caring for a messed up shoulder, trying to stay connected with my man, and sleep… Sleep..haven’t seen her in a long time.