Tuesday, August 18, 2015

On Marriage, part deux


This story is changing. Curtains opening to Act 2. Drama unfolding. Uncertainty remains. Bone crushing responsibilities weigh on our shoulders.

As we weather a wintry brutal season in our marriage, we should bolster each other and hold on until the smoke clears. But we don’t. We move onto divergent paths. He’s steady, strong, undeniable in who he is. I never thought I’d question my faith. I’ve always believed in goodness, mercy, love. I’ve believed in love most of all; that the heart can expand… enlarge amidst crushing defeat.


These days, I take a minute to refresh, to breathe, and meditate. I focus on the good… no... the GREAT things: more than ten years ago, we danced in the moonlight, fireworks exploded when we kissed, lightning struck when we touched, love changed everything. These days, he doesn’t write me love letters anymore or stop everything to kiss me in the middle of a busy day. He does much more than that. He lays down his life. It’s in the ordinary moments weaved together into the testimony of a most honorable man who comes home to his family every single night and overlooks the mess and chaos.

He battles alongside me again and again, holds my hand, and stands behind me as I fail yet again to battle my demons. When I’ve deserted the troops and go AWOL, he finds me and helps me fight my way back. 

I walk in my father’s shoes now, down the same roads he’s traveled. I finally understand the whys. I am humbled by my father’s sacrifices and as I lay down my bitterness and finally forgive, walls crumble. 

I find my heart. Glory, Hallelujah. 

Ahh, so THAT’S what love feels like. 


The dust settles and Steve is behind the mist, holding it all together. He lays down his life, his heart. There are no trumpets and a parade to welcome me home. There’s just bone deep, remarkable love that walks the ordinary, normal, mediocre, daily doldrum. Sometimes it’s one step, one climb, one limp, one leap forward.

It’s one more Kid Cuisine, one more modge podge project, one more story, one more swim lesson, one more band aid, one more spill to clean up, one more kiss before bed, one more night where we commit to do better tomorrow.

This love in action.


This IS happily ever after. Our story evolves, some days can be rough but it’s still OUR story. This is when it counts. This is when love shows up. 




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