On Friends

Linking up with Gypsy Mama for




1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

Not sure why blogger wants to highlight this now..

Okay, On Friends:
Here we go:

I don't allow a lot of people in. It's just my way. I grew up in an environment that wasn't safe to let anyone in. They were dangerous. The gracious and dear friends I do have I treasure... but, when I'm in a bind and need help, it's all on me. Some of the people I know, they just post something on facebook and everyone they know comes running. I wish I had that. I'm usually afraid to have birthday parties because I think no one would come.
I attended an assertive communication seminar this week and I came to the realization that I am here because I have behaved in a way that cues others to see me as weak, childlike, one that is not to be taken seriously at any given point in time. This wall I've built, I built it with my bare hands one brick at a time. Slowly I'm starting to come out, slowly I let others in. Slowly I allow my criticisms to dissapate and just be myself. Goofy kid and all..

Growing

Linking up with Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday.



 

Growing. I am obsessed with it. Moving forward and tackling the next hurdle. Just can't stay still. Can't stay in one place. Can't watch movies just cause they're on. There must be a point, a moral and message that helps me propel forward. Each day each moment, my beat changes. I can't draw the same line in the same way twice. Each moment is a different rhythm. I used to try and retrace my steps in the snow when I was little. Tried so hard. But the moment passed. I made the same steps but either my feet were bigger or my shoes were different - I couldn't keep the same motion.

I enjoy learning. I cannot stand to be stagnant. Sometimes though, I'm bombarded with information overload and chaos and I shut down. I get tired and must rest.

This is one of those times.

 

Review: Adele, Someone Like You

Adele... her voice... is magic..
This song, stops me in my tracks. Just her voice and the piano..
 pure.
amazing.
mystical.
I had to sit in the car this morning when this came on. Parked the car, closed my eyes, forgot that I was running late and just reveled in the beauty of this musical genius.

Movie Review: Atonement

Atonement.
I remember when this movie came out in the theaters a couple years ago. It looked intriguing. I was invited to a special screening but couldn't go for some reason. I was thrilled to see it on the rack at Big Lots yesterday and quickly snatched it up. Got us some movie candy and convinced Seve it would be a great movie night.

Okay, here's the cast:

Keira Knightley plays Cecilia Tallis - She's just amazing. There's nothing else like her.
If I ever find this dress, I will maim, kill and destroy for it.. just so you know..

James McAvoy plays Robbie Turner, the housekeeper's son.. who's in love with Cecilia.

The character of Briony is actually played by three people.
Briony is the Cecilia's younger sister, innocent, with a WILD imagination.

"Child" Briony is played by Saoirse Ronan.

Young Briony is played by Romola Garai..

The incomparable Vanessa Redgrave plays older Briony.

My review:

This movie was really awesome. I think they did a little tribute to Memento in the direction. Time was always being messed with. It seems like Time was a character. One minute you're in the present and the next minute you're in the past. It's pretty awesome brain candy. It's like Time is trying really hard to get you to notice him/her. Some people like to tune out when they watch movies. I get all in there.. I become the characters and pick my favorites and try to figure out their next move based on their past behaviour. This is why movies always stay with me. I become ingrained, emotionally attached and bonded to them.

Briony tells a terrible lie about Robbie which separates him from Cecilia and Cecilia from her family.

The story is intriguing... but the scenery.. oh my word.. it's just brilliant. Every detail is perfect.

..pure eye candy. Every sense engaged. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Great juxtaposition of a grandiose luxurious existence in the beginning and then war, famine, living in slums trying to survive.. Weaving in and out is always Cecilia and Robbie: their passion.

There comes a point where Briony says she's sorry, but - I'm not sure if it's the acting or if it's part of the story- I'm really not sure she's sorry. I think she wants to be sorry but deep down, I think she's pleased she marred and scarred everyone that stood in her path of what she wanted.

I've said way too much and I never meant to do that..

Just go watch it.. just for the scenery..

You won't be sorry. You'll get lost in this massive house, learn a little bit about WWII on the English side, and walk away either surprised and sad or enchanted and delighted at the beautiful storytelling.

This is one of those movies that makes me want to go find the book it was based off of and get lost in it..

Joy

Linking up with Gypsy Mama and continuing our theme of Choosing Joy inspired by Sara, aka GitzenGirl.


 

In the midst of daily madness with reminders, emails, cell phones, social metworking, it's hard to be joyful. My brain is constantly bombarded with traffic and mess and chaos. My focus is hazy and I crash into everything. The wall caves in and I'm looking for the thing I've lost. The wall has been caving in for awhile. I've finally realized that wall was one I built a long time ago with great care, piece by piece. I have been stonewalled in here a long time and then one day I realized I was alone. Desperately I tried to claw through, then climb through, then break through.. still nothing. Still no one. Today as I'm writing this, I realized the wall was broken in pieces. I don't know how, and I don't know when, I'm just glad to be free. Now my goal is to pick up all these broken pieces of my soul and make them into something useful and beautiful. What a mess I've gotten into. What a joy it is to be free and to be truly known... discovered.

 

Saying Goodbye

GitzenGirl is approaching her last days here on Earth.

Oh how hard we all prayed for her. That God would be seen in her suffering and that He would miraculously heal her. I had so much faith that she had so many more years. Her faith especially was astounding in the midst of horrible pain. I couldn't understand how she would stay so positive and see everything as a blessing. She hardly was able to get out of bed.

Slowly, I started to understand. I started to change. My world of one became a world of many. My selfish thoughts and heart, little by little, everyday started to awaken and evolve. I am forever grateful to sweet Sara for always encouraging me to Choose Joy. It's her motto really. Two small simple words, one amazing impact.



In the midst of my sorrow... I CHOOSE JOY.. Joy that she will no longer be in pain. Joy that one day when I get to heaven, we'll see each other and we'll have a roaring good time and I will hear her mighty hearty laugh. I will hear her beautiful voice and we'll laugh till nothing comes out from our throats and laugh at each other in how silly we look. We'll drink coffee by the fireside with our silly blankets. We'll sip lemonade on the front porch swing with the wrap-around porch. I'll meet her father and thank him for the wonderful child he brought into the world.. into my life..
Until then.. Until we meet again, I will Choose Joy in your honor. Godspeed my friend....

Harvest Moon

Seve has been taking Drewbie to school lately and it's been a nice break for me in the morning. Today however, I needed to take Drewbie to school since Seve had a meeting offsite. I was bit annoyed that I had to wake up earlier and be get myself ready in a small amount of time.

When I made the left turn to the road that takes Drewbie to school I was greeted by an amazing harvest moon. It was sure a sight to see. One that I'll not forget. It was so peaceful and surreal seeing the moon during daylight. It was moments like this that God presents himself to me and says, "I am with you.."

So blessed we are to have this glorious and amazing life.

In Real Life

Time for 5 Minute Friday with Gypsy Mama!!!



Today's prompt: In Real Life

There's a life I live in my head. It's in my world: a world of just me and happiness. I'm the most beautiful dancer, I sing great, there is no lack and I'm a hero everyday. I always find the answer. I always make everyone laugh. I've spent most of my childhood and teenage years here. I've re-enacted plays. I've rocked all kinds of stadiums. I've re-programmed software to save the day.

In real life though, I'm goofy and awkward and feel retarded most of the time. In real life I can't hardly formulate a good sentence to let people know how I feel. In real life I'm just average, mediocre. Words that I detest most of all.

Oh to live in my dreams and never wake up. I've lived lifetimes in my head. So much so... that I don't think I know how to live here.. now... in real life.....

Window Decor.. with WRAPPING PAPER

I didn't take a picture of the door before.. but it's a door with a glass inset.
I took my favorite wrapping paper:

cut it out to the size of the window and taped it on.

LOVE IT.

I am thinking I can change it up every season. I just need to keep an eye out for really awesome wrapping paper.. clearance sales: here I come!!

My cup is empty...........

The practice of faith..
This is a hard subject today.
I love me some Beth Moore.
I always return to her when I need a moment to laugh or cry or just be reminded of God's glorious and wonderful love for me... for us..

It's a rough night. I'm tired of being the one to serve. The one to remind, to plan, to coordinate. I'm mentally tired and brain dead.

My cup is empty today in a bad way.

I sit here and watch youtube videos to laugh and release.
I listen to music that inspires me.
Slowly, I come back to myself and realize... ahhh... what a small burden I bear compared to Him..